out of the mouth of a babe

being that it is the start of the new year, i thought it was important that i shared some of my personal thoughts such as "Your love is my drug" is not a term of endearment,
the beliefs i live by, and other 
things i think about.
feel free to quote me. 
People who hate [you] usually just hate what's missing in themselves. I don't worry about people who hurt me.  I care more about myself. The best way to deal with someone who's treating you in a way that is unfair and mean is not to pay attention; [attention] is what they crave anyway. 

A great way to feel really happy is to pick the weeds from your life - the flowers left smell pretty, unlike that trash that held you back. 
People who focus solely on being "loved" and wanting to feel "needed" forget to be lovable and don't work on making themselves worth being wanted. 

if you make someone change something about their life for you, they will wake up one day unhappy and blame you for all the reasons their heart aches.

"i'm hotter anyway so who cares?" - robyn from how i met your mother on ted's new girlfriend.

"Your love is my drug" is not a term of endearment. 
if you half-ass life, life will half-ass you.

the mean twisted things people say come from a storage box inside their heart - right by the box marked "insecurities" - usually someone said it about them before or they (secretly) think it about themselves; when they say they didn't mean what they said, remember it had to come from somewhere, and that kind of behavior is the learned kind - not the innate type.

True Romance is lust driven, selfish, and addictive; True Love is pure, special, and rare.

the empty vessel makes the most noise.

wisdom on an unhealthy relationship: 
[The person] cares about how you make [them] feel not about you. [They] love that [they] feel powerful with you, not that [they] feel powerful because of you.

there is a huge difference between being outspoken and speaking out. tactful, tasteful, and selfless; tactless, tasteless, and selfish.
Stop begging. Stop wanting something that doesn't want you or doesn't know if they want you. You can't make it happen. That's not how this love stuff works.

"truth is truth no matter where you find it; if you don't like it, you live your life with fallacies." - Dr. Gough

Usually people will pick the easiest path when faced with a decision, or they pick the one where they keep the most power (which also comes with smaller responsibility and the least growth). After all, it is much easier to live with yourself when the reminder of who you could be isn't there daily.

happy people don't tell the world they are happy with words,  they teach the world with their actions.



out with a bang & some cheap champagne

be safe, kids.
what will you be doing when the clock strikes 1.1.11?

my resolutions for this year:
-put myself first
-pay off credit card
-tone up
-get accepted into DOVA/BFA
-have the best year, yet

happy twenty11!

grafik design

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manipulation and vices

Secure people find validation from within; while insecure people attempt to find validation from sources outside themselves - or live though a partner. 
Insecure people tend to be very sensitive to critique, respond with defensiveness, and tend to want the last word. They aren't comfortable enough with themselves to accept they might be flawed. They may issue unfair punishments or orders to prove their authority - or ultimatums. They engage in manipulation and power-plays and when they don't get their way they act out verbally (abuse, hurtful words, or threats) - or as if they are a victim. They like to play innocent, and they like to ACT.

    This external search for security manifests itself in two major ways:

    A person becomes overly selfish making people in their "game" sacrifice -or change - to better suit their selfish idea of what they believe they deserve.

        When she wants you all to herself it isn't because she loves you THAT much; it is because she's afraid she'll lose control. She'll throw a fit if you want to spend a night with the boys, have a life outside of her, or do something outside her wants - she might even cry.

        This may seem innocent enough in the beginning, but it’s all just a ploy to get your attention back on her – where she thinks it belongs. The longer you date, the more justified she’s going to feel about it, too. Marry this chick, and you’re looking at your own personal War of the Roses. This girl either got way too much, or way too little, attention from Daddy. Unless you want to play surrogate, dump her and find someone normal. 
       they are overly accommodating. An overly accommodating person attempts to gain the approval of other people by bending over backwards for them or creating an image of themselves that leads others to believe they are someone they are not. A big sign is 
    If she wants to do everything for you. She wants to cook, clean and be your personal wench. That may sound great, but this chick has serious issues. Not only is she clingy, she’s dependent. In other words, she needs you to need her, or she feels useless. It isn't that she can't live without you, it's that she can't live without the way you make her feel, and she can't live without feeling important. Yeah, another self-esteem issue. Mind you, most women enjoy doing things for their man, and some even enjoy cooking, cleaning, etc. But not like an indentured servant. If she’s holding your slippers and newspaper and (s)mothering you every time you turn around, this chick’s a nut.
    A need to control or dominate is a sign of an insecure individual. Controlling partners often expect their mates to follow strict rules, as they have found a way of living which makes them feel safe and secure in their relationship - the partner is usually insecure as well, or feels trapped and feels pressure. Usually the partners insecurities have been played up by the power-play-manipulation tactics of the dominate partner. i.e. threats, ultimatums, putdowns/abusive tone, or - in mormon words - usage of "the eternal one." 
    INSECURE PEOPLE feel threatened by others, and one way to cope with this is to try and squash them and remove them. The more threatening person of all to an insecure person is a secure person, because they can sense their power and fear their own capabilities.


an authentic beauty; not a mask.

Ever beautiful, Kate Middleton.

A high quality woman is a woman of valueA woman of value is one who values the happiness of others, and who is considerate and who can hold her tongue

Think of what a typical low value and low quality woman looks and acts like. Usually, this kind of woman is so significance-driven that she is habitually unable to listen, to care for or to help others. Typically, this kind of woman makes you cringe because she gives the female gender a bad name. She may even frustrate you with anger because you simply can’t get a word in and let’s face it, it’s HARD being around someone who doesn’t care about you at all.

A woman of low value has such a low sense of self-worth that it’s impossible for her to perceive what life is like from another angle other than her own. She’s too in to herself! She is selfish and completely insecure. It’s very much a case of ‘the empty vessel makes the most noise’.

Here is what a high quality woman is NOT: She is not someone who is constantly sucking value from others or pushing people down to get her way.

A classy woman doesn’t fake happiness; nor does she broadcast her happiness.

You cannot be classy unless you are true to yourself, you CANNOT be true to yourself if you don't know who you are. A classy woman is AUTHENTIC.To actually be authentic, you must value being authentic more than you value having another kind of ‘identity'

Women who choose something (or someone) to represent themselves have this problem. Say someone who tells everyone how "Christ-like," giving, or compassionate they are - usually are nothing like that. It is an identity they take on to 1) look more credible 2) cover a personal deep insecurity. 

Many younger as well as middle-aged women simply let themselves go. In other words, they start to value themselves less. They get fat, stop combing or styling their hair nicely (or cut it in to a short style that their husband hates), stop making the time to exercise, eat well or socialize. Letting your appearance go can sometimes be a tell tale sign that you habitually feel bad about yourself, your life. or that you don’t care about yourself, which negates classThis also shows laziness.

A classy woman "Walks the walk and talks the talk," carries herself with grace and poise, takes time on her appearance, is selfless, smart, and never gives an "empty vessel" more than a laugh. 

Finally, a high quality woman radiates with light and confidence that is seen and not heard. She can except that she is flawed, but she has a drive to make herself better. A high class woman is real, wanted, and feared by that which is the opposite.






*works c. 12.2010


the song a day project // november

november 2010

1. black rainbow - st. vincent
2. it's tricky - rundmc
3. the tallest man on earth - like the wheel
4. fade into you - mazzy star
5. hard enough - brandon flowers
6. bug - mandy moore
7. fitz & dizzyspells - andrew bird
8. running on - villa nah
9. black sheep - metric
10. baptism - crystal castles
11. i feel better - hot chip
12. home - edward sharpe & magnetic zeros
13. sing me to sleep - fran healy with neko case
14. down by the water - the decemberists
15. heaven - the fire theft
16. turn them - sean bones feat. norah jones
17. forevermore - katie herzig
18. dear john - ryan adams
19. loretta (live) - neko case
20. heaven - kasper bjorke
21. all you need is love - the beatles
22. weight of the world - active child
23. sets us free - black mountain
24. ridin' in my car - she & him
25. igloo - karen o and the kids
26. human - the killers
27. better than revenge - taylor swift
28. sober - kelly clarkson
29. bones - the killers
30. love this pain - lady antebellum